what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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