That's intense
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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