How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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