I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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