nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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