About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
