i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
