Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
