Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
