I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
