Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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