just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
