You're completely useless in the revolution.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Everclear isn't food dammit
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
