dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just forgot I was standing up.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
