just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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