How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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