theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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