Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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