eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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