she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
