So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
