dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Found your dick twin last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
