Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
