need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
