I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
