I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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