I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
