So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
