why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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