He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
