She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
