I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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