the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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