im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
