so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
