i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
