on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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