Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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