Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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