I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize