I hope mine doesn't look like that
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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