i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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