Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
