Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize