So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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