I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
