I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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