"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Your dad touched me again.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
