My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
being pregnant is like rehab
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
