Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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