how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
