I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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