When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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