Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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