he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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