I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
