You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
