i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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