I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I party with great urgency now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
