Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
