either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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