You're so nebulous sometimes
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
