i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
