when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize