Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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