it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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