4 words: hood of his car
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
