he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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