everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
